And Another New Beginning Again

Note to reader: I'm too tired to fix these paragraphs, so I'm using footnotes to handle the really bulky asides. Deal with it. Text in red is footnoted below.

Further note to reader: What's up? You should email me, I'm lonely.

Well, after much ado, and a full week of empty classrooms during the actual first week of school, the 2011-12 school year has finally, actually begun!

Shit.

In case I never ranted to you in person about it, let me explain something about my school: my school is a fucking joke. Every day, every period, the majority of the students spend their "class" time wandering around the central courtyard, hanging out, talking, breaking things, and occasionally intruding on classes and interrupting whatever iota of momentum the teacher might have managed to generate. Any faculty not teaching during a given period are meant to usher students to class, which is impossible since there are no consequences for their behavior, so all we can do is impotently nag them, forever repeating, "Yella shebab!" while they giggle like idiots and wander around some more.

So this year, the school administration decided to change the situation by having the students stay in the same classroom all day while the teachers rotate. That way, you keep the students out of the hallways and in their seats, cutting down on interruptions and increasing class time. Sure, it's a pain in the ass for teachers to have to move all their resources, materials and equipment every period, but that can be overcome with good planning (of which most are incapable) and the right resources (which we don't have). True, the learning suffers somewhat, as the teacher is unable to make the necessary changes to create a suitable learning environment, but the gain in viable, uninterrupted class time should more than make up for that.

Except, of course, that it's a total crock of shit, and the students just get up and leave after every class and do precisely the same thing they have always done. So we are left with the worst of both worlds. This is no surprise, of course--in fact, it's exactly what I said would happen when the principal unveiled his New World Order.

So okay, I do what I can with the students who actually show up. I do some getting to know you stuff, and teach a bit about personal pronouns. A few of them get something out of it, and some of them utter a handful of sentences by the end of things. This is the best we can do in East Baniyas. To be honest, it wasn't so bad today. There was some amount of learning going on. I even got a bit of acclaim from grateful kids.

Oh, and now, because the district is grossly understaffed, they're trying to get us to take an extra class each. If I do so, it'd leave me teaching out of 7 periods a day, every day. Of course I refused, blabbing about my contract and all. So, maybe they'll fire me, I don't know. I'd have to go home and leave all this behind.

Somehow, I don't think I'll be losing much sleep.



ado: mostly playing Sid Meier's Civilization V, drinking coffee, and refusing dates (the fruit) from coworkers

momentum: that is, in the rare cases where the guy in front of the class is actually attempting to teach something, rather than the more common scenario in which the students play with their mobile phones while the teacher reads tabloids and picks his nose

Yella shebab!: If I write a memoir of teaching in Baniyas, it will be entitled "Yella Shebab!" and be so depressing it will come with a double coupon for a bottle of sleeping pills and a fifth of bourbon.

administration: really just some very nice fellows who pay the school a visit several hours each week, sit in lovely offices and drink coffee while asking the teachers why the students aren't learning anything

worst of both worlds: like paying full price to see Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes.

principal: a swell guy named Abdullah who probably attended high school himself, at least for a few weeks

acclaim: What he said was, "Teacher Adam good!" which would be cute if these guys hadn't been in English classes for 10 years already

understaffed: after firing and deporting hundreds of Arab-born English teachers last year in favor of jerks like me

all this: please refer to my previous post

Abu Dhabi Sucks

Seriously.

Next Time I'll Tell You About the Time I Whipped Three Emiratis with a Length of Rubber

April. Springtime in the desert. Not much is in bloom around these parts. Just wind and sun and dust. The change in season is mostly marked by the heat rolling in heavier each day, and all we can do is wait it out.

Waiting is the theme these days. For the end of the work day, the weekend, the summer, our exodus to greener pastures. I don't like being one of those people who spends the week counting down to the weekend, but there it is.

It's not all a drag. Had a good time camping in Oman over spring break. Went camping in the mountains, and a night camping on the beach on the Gulf of Oman. Beautiful drive and mountain views, reminiscent of Highway 1 in California, winding mountain road hugging the coast. Quiet and isolated camping spot, and a mess of stars at night. It was good to get out of the city for a while, and spend some good time with Frances away from the frustrations of being here.

Sometimes I think it's idiotic to complain about being here. I think if we had been living in some sleepy suburb prior to the move, it would be a totally different experience. I mean, we have people who come to clean our apartment for us. We have a swimming pool and a gym at our disposal in the building. My job is ridiculously effort-free and the money is good enough to allow us some leisure and luxury, for once. Life is easy, which is not exactly the same as being good, but it certainly could be worse.

I'm killing time with mostly pointless pursuits, which is my own failing. Video games fill hours, but not the void. I've started taking an online class in teaching literacy, which at least gives me something with which to occupy my brain at work each week, but it's not the most rigorous of courses. I'm so far unimpressed with the quality of online education. Rather than the connected web of academic discussion, you have a bunch of frayed lines, one way communications that ultimately lead nowhere. I'm hoping, as always, to use my time a little more effectively, but this has not historically been one of my strongest suits. Something to work on.

Recommence my study of Spanish? Make that documentary about exploitative working conditions in UAE that Frances keeps talking about? Start a Wesley Willis tribute band called Banoffee Pie? We're running out of episodes of Dexter, so I need to get going on something.

Seven months here, and we're still debating whether or not to stick it out next year. It comes down to money versus happiness, which usually I'd call a no-brainer, but it's an amount of money that could really change things for us moving forward, and that's hard to ignore. If we stay, it will be a matter of trying to recoup some happiness, one way or another.

Springtime in Abu Dhabi. If we're going to tease out a new bloom, it will likely be within.

Dissolve. Refocus.

In the interest of maintaining my sanity, this will be my last post about work for a while.

In the past week or so, I have come to understand what school is really about here. Apparently it is a self-congratulatory facade in which administrators, teachers, parents and students conspire to award good grades to students regardless of learning, effort, or even attendance in school. People keep saying "oh, it's cultural," but I'm calling bullshit on that. Eating only with the right hand is cultural; this is lying.

I have been coerced by my principal, my vice principal and other teachers to raise students' grades. Without my consent, the principal raised all of the grades of the senior class. Then, a few days ago, my principal insisted that I could not mark down the six 11th grade students who copied their entire final exam from an essay I found on the internet--the same essay, word for word, all six of them--because I had no proof that they cheated.

So, let's put aside the fact that they all wrote exactly the same thing. And let's even put aside the fact that this exact essay was published on http://www.oppapers.com/. Fine. Explain to me how a student who can barely form a sentence in English wrote "There are many memories of growing up in Al Ain that frequently goes [sic] back to my father's garden. Ripe tomatoes, pretty green lady fingers, cute cucumbers and yellow squash just to name a few of the vegetables he often grew..." Are you kidding me? What kind of balls does it take to look someone in the face and say that this isn't cheating?

So. Anyway. I did manage to maintain a bit of dignity, and I held my ground. I refused to change the grades of the students who cheated. The princiapl eventually gave in, but I expect I'll take quite a bit of heat for it from here on in. I haven't faced the parents yet, so that will be fun.

Going to speak with someone from the district management this afternoon. I'm not aiming to harm the school, the students, the principal. I just want to get a transfer. I'm not sure whether or not the district is complicit in all of this, but my gut tells me that they know exactly what goes on and ignore it. I expect to be told to "go with the flow," which essentially means shut up and do as you're told, or leave. And it may come down to just that decision. Either way, I think I'm dealing with it as best I can.

Outside of work, I'm trying to enjoy myself, take it easy, be good to my wife, and play video games. Right now, shooting zombies as JFK is going to have to serve in lieu of therapy. It works better than you'd think.

Take care everybody. A is A; the sky is blue. Um, stupid is as stupid does?

Settling In. Maybe Just Settling.

Struggling with my job. It seems that I need to readjust my expectations in terms of student performance, outcomes, and in particular, attendance. As of late, I've been going a bit crazy trying to make things happen in the classroom--that's part of the territory. You push, students resist, you find ways to motivate. I get that, and I'm used to it.

But here, half the time there are no students to motivate. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a classroom, lessons at the ready, bag o' dictionaries and papers in hand, all set to teach, only to discover that there are no students there. Sitting in a classroom with no students is absurd and depressing. Sometimes there will be one or two students. I hang out with them and try to work on something with them that will move their skills forward. Not a lesson really, just some language practice.

Where are the students, you ask? It varies. I shall attempt to break it down.

They miss an average of one day per week for their football matches (that's soccer games, you American philistines). Even if the game is at 6:00 in the evening, they get the full day off of school to rest and relax. This is a contraversial change from last year's policy, under which they got *two* days off of school each week: one for the match, and the next day to recuperate.

About twice a month, the principal takes them for day trips. Recent trips have featured such educational experiences as going to the mall, the movies, the beach, and the marina. It should be noted that these trips are not planned in any way. The dude has a whim and he calls for a bus. Nobody is notified, so I still end up preparing my lessons, showing up and feeling like an ass when there's nobody there. Swell.

Then there are holidays. Of course, there are holidays everywhere, and we should expect (and appreciate) these days off. I do. However, my students apparently feel that the holidays are not long enough, so they take off two days before any holiday begins and return two days later than the schedule indicates.

Aside from these occasional hiatuses (hiati?), attendance is more predictable, and hits a daily average of about 30-40%. It's important for my students to get their rest, and so they sort of take turns coming to school so that somebody will be there to keep me company from time to time.

The administration is very concerned about this issue, so much so that they may one day actually do something to address it in some fashion, if of course they can find time. Once in a while they'll tell a student he should come to school more. This is the sum total of the disciplinary matrix.

Now don't get me wrong. They do care. They really do. They want the students to do well in their classses, and succeed in their exams. They want the students to improve, grow, learn. Just like any educators. They're just not convinced, apparently, that coming to school and attending classes is a necessary step in that process.

There's a whole bit about what I'm supposed to teach them vis a vis the curriculum and of course the limited time available, but that's a familiar tune for any teacher in the U.S., so I won't bother. I've come to terms with that--I'll teach them as much as I can with the time I have, and not fret about "covering" all the material. They can slap my wrist or give me 10 demerits or whatever. That's not the problem.

The problem is, how can I be of any use to my students if they aren't here for me to teach? What do you do with that? How is it that I have time to write this blog at work, when I ought to be working to help these students improve their education? Oh yeah, there's a match today, and I don't have any classes before noon.

I figure the change that needs to be made is one of attitude, since this system isn't about to change to make me comfortable. I wish I was one of those teachers that preferred to surf the Internet than to deal with his students all day. This would be a dream job.

Nick made a good point and said that work is like this for like 90% of folks. They just go to their jobs and do enough to not get fired. I think he's right, but if I wanted a job like that I'd have gone the corporate route and at least gotten paid. It's tough to step back from something really rewarding and just "get by" at work, just as I imagine it's tough for folks who get paid mega salaries to take a step back financially in order to find fulfillment. Well, at least I have plenty of time to sift through Facebook and read Fark. Watched some teenager get bitten by a rabid otter this morning, so that was pretty awesome.

I know this one is a bit of a downer, but that's why I haven't written in a while. Was hoping for the winds to change so I could leave you on a lighter note.

Had a good Thanksgiving, until the New Zealanders tried to turn it into a college beer-buster. Bleah. Nevertheless, got to spend some quality time hanging out with new friendquaintances, and that helped the creeping homesickness of the holidays. Cooked a bomb-ass turkey, if I doo say so myself. An especially impressive feat, considering I had to squeeze it, sans roaster, into our tiny convection oven. Franny made an array of amazing sugary goodness. Good times.

We'll be traveling to Egypt in a few weeks, and I'm really gettingg excited about that. A few days on the beach in Mersa Matruh, a few days in Alexandria, Christmas (and Franny's birthday) on a cruise down the Nile, and then a few days in Cairo. Not a bad way to cap off 2010.

A

Not in the Brochures

United Arab Emirates = UAE = Unstoppable Ass Explosions

Potential visitors, consider yourselves forwarned.

First Days of School, Moving Days, and Ramadan Value Meals

My first full week of teaching is done, and I've had a day to relax and reflect. There is still a lot to process, so I expect a lot of this will come out jumbled and half-formed, but here's the skinny nonetheless.

The school is called the Aljazira Football Academy. It's essentially a soccer farm that offers academic classes as well. First day, I was told by the principal, the vice principal and the English faculty that the first priority is athletics, not academics. The students, they told me, might need to miss school or sleep in class because they are tired from training. I was informed that students would often miss class because they play on the national team and would be traveling to other countries to compete.

This is a tough pill to swallow for me, but I'm coming around to accept that I can only work within the confines of the environment I'm in, and that I can still be of service to these young men by using the class time we have to further their skills in the English language. So it isn't likely to be life-changing for them. Learning another language is its own reward, even if most of these boys are going to rely on their feet to make their way in the world.

Sas Alnkhl School, where my school is currently housed.

I'll also be teaching the faculty here, which will be interesting. The principal would like all of the faculty to take the IELTS, an international standardized test of English language skills. He'd like me to assess their current skills and teach a class that will help them to succeed on the exam. This is a new challenge for me, and I'm looking forward to it, although I'm not sure I know what the hell I'm doing. As is the case with much of the professional world, I'll be making it up as I go along, at least at first.

The young men in my classes, I should mention, are great. On the whole, they are very respectful, friendly, and seem to genuinely want to learn. The class sizes are small, so I hope I'll be able to learn a lot about them as the year progresses. I am optimistic about the actual class time, even though I have my reservations about the school system itself.

The faculty has been very welcoming, although I definitely feel my "otherness" there. I am the only native English speaker in the school--most of the the faculty are from nearby countries--Egypt and Lebanon mostly--and a few are Emiratis. It seems that most of the new teachers who have come here are in schools where they have a little cadre of westerners with whom they can discuss the difficulties of coping in the new setting; I am much more on my own in this regard. I have times when this makes me despondent, but I'm hoping that it will push me to venture even further outside of my comfort zone and befriend people from the region. I'm hoping, too, that it will motivate me to continue studying Arabic. So far, I've acquired about a twenty-word vocabulary. There is a long way to go.

In other news, Frances and I are moving into our new apartment today! In just a few hours we'll depart the Aloft Hotel and taxi over to Al Manzel Hotel Apartments, our new home. We're both relieved to be out of hotel living, and excited to finally have a home. The apartment is in the "Tourist Club" area, which is basically the downtown, with plenty of places within walking distance for good eats, etc. I expect that being in the downtown area will alleviate the feelings of isolation we've been experiencing. Insh'allah, as my Arabic friends would say.

Got around to check out a little more of the city. Bit by bit, it's becoming more comfortable and less intimidating. Learning where things are, how to get things done. Trying to meet people, though this is difficult as I am borderline antisocial. A journey like this certainly makes you appreciate your friends. (Hi friends! You're awesome.)

Also, I'd like to say that I love Skype. How cool is it that, all the way from Abu Dhabi, I can see Chad and Ben pretend to make out? Okay, it's actually a bit gross, but the technology is cool.

I'll leave you with this, which speaks for itself:

No bacon, of course.